Manual??

Here I am again. Yes, I'm here on my own accord too. I know that. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. It always does. I always get to this point and think I haven't come very far and I'm not going very far. The only problem is this time I thought I tried my best and tried to do everything I could and I still couldn't keep it. I really really thought that I was actually doing it right this time. Even at my best I still don't get it.

I can't do it anymore. I need to just break away. I wish there was a step by step manual to show me where I am and where I need to be. Life doesn't come that easy unfortunately. I'm just gonna have to do it trial by error and hope I land where I need to. I hope that's ok. I guess I'll have to get the permission slip signed later.